an ode to traffic violations
by monophobian
Summary: SHIANKO. "I may or may not have robbed a bank just now and please help me get away I'll repay you in sexual favors and also cash." - - - Crime AU for AU Yeah August.


_Let's just say I had a lot of fun with this one. Small mention of previous child abuse through neglect._

* * *

Traffic sucked. It was the worst part of her day and her day usually consisted of dealing with shitty coworkers and inept, micromanaging bosses. Some days were better than others at work which usually correlated with how many times she was bothered at her desk, and thankfully, today had been a good one.

But traffic could suck a flaming bag of mangled dicks for all she cared.

Sitting in the same intersection at the same time of day on a normal freaking day and people still acted like assholes laying on their horn and expecting cars to just magically clear out of their way as if they were some special mushroom placed delicately on the earth.

In all honesty, if _anyone_ deserved to be given a clear way, it was Anko. Not because she was some unique pumpkin that blessed the world with her presence, but instead because she gave so little of a shit about everyone getting on her nerves, she almost considered the deductible on her car insurance a fair price to pay in order to blast through those asshole's cars. Anything to get the stupid sounds to stop.

But she was almost there. Only two cars in front of her at the intersection and as soon as the light turned green, she'd get through and right onto the freeway. And it looked like the cross street traffic was slowing down, so any minute now that light would change and she—

Her passenger door opened and a man slid inside.

"You'll make ten thousand dollars if you don't freak out and just drive."

The light turned green at the very moment her car door closed and she saw a charming smile grace a handsome face.

"What?"

"Twenty thousand if you don't get caught and I'll double it if you take me where I need to go."

The horn two cars behind her started to blow and she made her decision. Fuck the traffic, fuck the stranger, fuck the entire world, she was not missing this goddamn light.

She was on the freeway and finally moving at the speed she wanted before she considered the proposition before her.

"You normally hop into stranger's cars and offer them thousands of dollars?"

"Only after I get done robbing a bank."

Anko blinked. She heard the words, she understood the words, she knew what the words meant, but she didn't really _get_ them. "Sorry, I just heard you say you robbed a bank?"

The man patted the backpack resting on his lap, almost like one would a dog. "My partner didn't show. I wasn't going to wait for something to happen and you had an open seat." He turned and she saw another grin out of the corner of her eye. "Shisui."

"Anko." Wait — why was she giving this man her name? "Pretty shitty bank robber if you have to rely on a stranger to help you out."

"Pretty _successful_ one, if you ask me."

"Explain how this is successful to you."

"Because you're driving away and no one knows I got in your car."

"I could just drive you to the police station."

"Ah, but then you'd be admitting to aiding a crime because you let me get in your car and helped me escape the scene."

 _Well, shit on a fuckstick._ "Alright, then explain why you decided to trust some random person with information about you."

"If you weren't going to do this, you wouldn't have driven away," he replied easily as he fished for the seatbelt. "You did and you even pulled onto the freeway, so I figure I have a bit of leeway before you kick me out."

It was always her. No one else in Anko's life ever got caught up in shit like this, but damn if it didn't happen to her. "Forty thousand just for driving you to your destination?"

"Well," Shisui hedged, "in essence."

"You need to explain that," she shot back. "My exit's coming up pretty soon."

"We need to take a round about route to get there."

"Making sure no one's following me?" she guessed.

"And making sure the place is safe."

Casing the place, checking out the neighborhoods, it was amazing how easily she could slip back into the thought process. "Is there a lookout?"

"No," he answered. "At least there better not be. They'd have to explain why they stood me up."

"So you're leaving a scene and taking a stranger to a potentially empty safe house with a bag full of money and no idea of where to go from there?"

"When you say it like that—"

"That's a terrible idea." Anko passed her exit, making a quick decision on where to go next. The house should still be available. "Whoever knew you were doing this is setting you up."

His hand froze on the buckle and she felt his eyes studying her. His body shifted, tensing in the shoulders as the click of the seat belt sounded in the car. "Sounds like you've done this before," he said and it didn't take a genius to hear the distrust in his voice.

"Not this per say," Anko couldn't ever remember _entertaining_ the idea of robbing a bank, let alone planning it out, "but maybe a few other things in a past life."

"How recent was this past life?"

"Locked away in a juvie record."

Shisui sat back, stretching out his legs in the small space available to him. The man was tall and really rocked that head of curly hair he had going on. She hadn't gotten a good look at him yet, but she was almost certain the charming grin was a gateway to a pretty face.

"And you're just going to jump right back in?"

She furrowed her brows, not liking the thought of that. "This entire thing smells like a set up. I bring you to your location, something's going to be waiting for us and," she spared a glance at him, "like you said, I'm now an accomplice. Best case scenario is that we both end up in jail."

"No, best case scenario is no one's there."

Anko rolled her eyes. "That's a pipe dream. You threw out forty thousand as if it were change to catch a ride, so whatever's actually in that bag is one hell of a haul. No way your missing piece is just going to let you go with that kind of money when their cut was probably more than what you offered me."

"Let me get this straight," he began with humor starting to seep into his voice. "You're refusing to take me where I want to go because you think your read on the situation is more accurate than mine—"

"It _is_."

"—and instead you're taking me wherever you feel like going while I don't have a say?"

She considered. He could technically have a say depending on his thought process, but considering his genius plan of ignoring the threat a loose end gives, Anko didn't have high hopes. "Sounds about right."

"I can't believe you're kidnapping me."

"I can't believe you jumped in a stranger's car and thought it would work."

He looked at her even though she was focused on the road then heaved a sigh. "Fair."

Shisui didn't say anything else and Anko felt no need to fill the silence. Too many things were happening. The house was two and a half hours away and she'd probably have to get gas before then. Then she'd have to stock up food because she learned the hard way not to count on anything she might have left there still being present. And as soon as she got settled, she'd have to figure out how to call in from work, even though the promise of forty thousand dollars would set her up well enough to not _have_ to go back to work.

Honestly, with that kind of money and the right planning, she could pick up another job somewhere else that didn't have to pay as much and live comfortably for a while. Or maybe use that to pack up her shit and move to a new city. She'd always wanted to live further north.

"I never thought robbing a bank would be the least stupid thing I did today."

That brought out a laugh. "When were you supposed to meet up with your friend?"

"In about forty-five minutes."

"Give it an hour and when he calls, you'll be glad you're doing this."

She felt his gaze return to her, that quiet study filling the space between them.

"You learned this the hard way," he guessed. "That kind of thinking — where loose ends cause threats? — you don't learn that from stuff they keep sealed in juvie records."

He was right, but she wasn't surprised. It wasn't hard to see into her past when one considered how she was handling the situation. Still, she didn't say a word.

"Either you got one hell of a deal to get it all sealed away or you were taught by someone else."

Anko had been trained too well to give away anything and she was proud to see those lessons stuck.

"If you made a deal, I would imagine you wouldn't jump right into the risk of helping me." He was getting closer. "But if you were being groomed into the life, they'd teach you how to get away first."

Nail on the head. Fuck.

"You going to tell me who it was or am I going to start guessing?"

Glancing at the clock and then at her speed, they had a minimum of two hours left in the car and longer at the house. And considering how much money she was assuming in his bag, she might not be walking away clean from this one.

"I remember hearing about a bust quite a few years ago," Shisui continued. "Bunch of young kids abandoned in a warehouse with nothing but the clothes on their backs. According to reports, the bastard that collected them disappeared and the only one to get away alive was a teenage girl."

Her hand tightened on the wheel.

"You one of those kids? Or were you the lucky one that got away?"

She pulled in a slow breath, waiting to see if Shisui had any more to say.

He didn't.

"I was picked up two nights before the bust," she explained quietly. "They were waiting for my guardian to show up before they released me."

Silence fell again, this one different. Outside the officers working the case, the lawyer assigned her, and the judge, Anko had never told that story to a soul.

"You've been working with people who knew Orochimaru," she said.

He didn't deny it.

" _Who_?"

"It might be better—"

"Who?"

"Root."

Fuck. "We'd have been dead before I parked."

When Shisui didn't say anything, Anko considered everything he'd told her.

"You knew it was a setup?"

"I had a hunch."

"Your partner showed, you just didn't trust them." When he didn't say anything, she continued. "You jumped in my car because you were compromised. That's why you were going to case the place first."

"I…" He ran a hand through that curly mess of hair and she moved the car over to take an upcoming exit. "I don't know what happened."

"You want to believe they wouldn't betray you."

He was silent for so long, she thought he wouldn't answer, but then he did. "I still can't believe that."

"Your partner close?"

"Cousin."

"Then why don't you trust him?"

"I _do_ trust him," Shisui insisted. "I just don't trust who's pulling the strings."

"You're getting him out."

He didn't answer and they both knew he didn't need to.

"Fuck." Her hands tightened on the wheel. " _Fuck_."

"Know anyone that could help?"

She did. Anko absolutely did and she just so happened to be heading in the right direction. "You know, I just might."

* * *

 _Itachi's compromised, Danzo's using Itachi to get to Shisui (for some reason), Anko is taking them to Kakashi for help._

 _Shisui pays her back by eating her out._

 _:)_


End file.
